The Great Birthday Conundrum

 It's Birthday Party Season! 🎉🥳

Every parent knows what I mean when I say that. Its that time of year, usually about a month into the school year, when we start getting birthday party invitations out the wazoo. 

It's only October 14th (at the time of writing this) and we have already had 4 (YES FOUR) separate birthday party invitations. 

Two of the parties, luckily enough, were on the same day, at the same trampoline park, back to back, so that was easy enough to navigate. We went to the first party from 12pm to 2pm and then just moved tables to the second party from 12pm to 4pm. 

The other two parties, we weren't as lucky. Both of them were on the same day, at the same time, in two completely different places - on the opposite sides of the county. 

So, my daughter was faced with a choice - who's party to go to?

Begin the Great Birthday Conundrum!

Now, as a parent, I could have easily chosen which one we were going to and not given her a choice in the matter. However, my daughter is almost 8 - and she needs to learn how to make hard decisions. Part of my job as her mom is to teach her. 

I sat her down and told her the issue, and she begged me to try to figure out how to go to both. I told her due to the types of parties, and where they were located - trying to go to both wasn't an option. I told her she had to pick which one to go to, and gave her plenty of time to make her choice. 

A Tale of Two Parties

The first birthday party was for a school friend that my daughter has known since first grade (she is in 2nd now) and is the only classmate she has in her class now from last year,. 

Her birthday was being held at a local princess spa - a super cute little boutique that does tea parties, themed parties, and so much more. We went to her birthday party last year at the same place and it was so adorable. My daughter had a blast. 

This year, instead of it being a princess tea party theme, it was a slumber party theme - with pajamas, makeovers, and story telling. This was the invitation we received first.

The second birthday party was for the daughter of a long time family friend. My daughter has known them since she was an infant. We go to church together every weekend and frequently have playdates together. 

Her party was being held at Michael's (yes the craft store, apparently they do parties) and they were going to be doing tye-dye shirts and making beaded bracelets. My daughter is an arts and crafts junkie so this was a very difficult decision for her. 

How I Stepped In as Mom

I knew deep down I was not going to make this decision for her, so my best role was to set boundaries around the decision. These were the boundaries I set:

• We absolutely could not go to both parties
• She had 5 days to decide so I had ample time to RSVP
• She could not change her mind once I RSVPd

I gave her guidance on how to decide - listing pros such as her closeness to each friend and which activities she was more excited about, and cons such as wearing regular clothes vs pajamas (yes this was legit a con for her) and missing out on becoming closer with her school friends. 

I knew which party I wanted her to choose, but I also knew it wasn't my place to insert my opinion and cloud her own judgment if she didn't ask for it. Which she did. 

I told her that if it was up to me, I would go to the second party. We have been friends with them longer and it had activities she was more excited about.

The Decision

It took her a few days of bouncing back and forth, plenty of "this decision is too hard" and "you just choose cause I can't pick" complaints. 

I didn't give in and told her that in life we all have to make tough decisions and this was one of those moments for her. I could see that she was really putting thought into it, and mulling over what she truly wanted to do. 

Finally, one night after dinner, she came to me and told me she had news for me - she decided which party to go to. I turned off my audiobook because my kids deserve my full attention (most of the time) and listened intently.

"I want to go to <insert craft party friend's name here> party at the craft store." I gave her a huge hug and told her that I would text said friends mom and asked her if she was completely sure that is what she wanted because of previously mentioned RSVP stipulation. She assured me that she was and then hovered over my shoulder to make sure I sent the text. 

It's a Mom-Win if I do Say so Myself!

Honestly, this was just a great learning experience for both myself and my daughter. On the day of the party she chose, she was so excited for the crafts, she was excited to see her friend, and best of all she was proud of her decision. 

On the way home from the party she actually thanked me for making her make the choice instead of deciding for her.

Her Tye-Dye Creation!